Estates with small engines? It’s been done. Small cars with no roof? Done. Long cars with swimming pools? How 2003. Cars with special houses for dogs? Yeah, we’ve seen those. You wouldn’t have thought it possible, but Vauxhall’s new MPV creates a brand new niche with potential
Only a few years ago, buying a car was very easy: You pick a small car, a medium car, a large car, an estate, a van or a pick-up. You choose a manufacturer and an engine size, and off you go. Selecting a niche is sort of like choosing one of those old-fashioned television tuners. “click-click-click”, the button slots into the predefined grooves.
But it’s the new millennium, baby: The dial has gone away from the plasticy clicking, and arrives at the heavy, HarmanKardon-style brushed aluminium stepless volume control: There is a continuum from very small cars such as the 2.5-metre Smart ForTwo to absolute monstrosities, such as the 5.8 metre Ford Excursion. You can buy engines that vary from less than a litre to more than 10. And everything in between.
You wouldn’t have thought that there was space for a brand new concept. As the US patent commissioner, Charles H. Duell, said in 1899: “Everything that can be invented has been invented.”. Obviously he was wrong then (we do have Velcro, the Internet, mobile phones, Head and Shoulders and nuclear weapons, after all), but for the automotive industry, we have pretty much seen everything ever invented. Or have we?
The new Vauxhall Meriva VXR
Vauxhall disagrees, and is set to maunch the world’s first performance mini-MPV. The GM-owned car manufacturer doesn’t slap badges on cars lightly, and the VXR badge is a coveted one indeed. So when they decide to place a large order for VXR badges, destined for their mini-people-carrier, you realise that there is something quite special going on.
The new car only gets a 1.6 litre engine, but when mated with a turbocharger, Vauxhall reckon the front-wheel-drive family car will rip from 0 to 62 in less than eight seconds, with a top speed of 140 mph. In supercar terms, that isn’t particularly impressive, but we are talking about a functional family vehicle, and the terms immediately change.
So Vauxhall have demonstrated that they are able to launch cars that blast a hole in the car-line-up-continuum, only to fill it with one of their own vehicles. An impressive feat. The new model of the car is expected to go on sale in February of next year. Now all that remains to be seen is if anyone will actually be mad enough to buy the monster.