Musings on why no sane people work at Capital One
So I got a message on my answer-phone:
- Hi this is so-and-so, the manager of Capital One UK. I received your letter of complaint, and would like to speak to you. I am available on extension number X, telephone number 0800 952 5150
Great, I thought, and called that number. After typing in my CC details and tackling a 20-minute routine of “press 1 if you want to (…) and press 9 if you are so tired of us that you’d rather play a game of russian roulette than listen to another of these options”, I finally got through to a call center… In Pakistan.
- What is your account number please?
- I just typed that in. I just want to get connected to extension so-and-so
- Sorry, you cannot do that. What is your account number?
- I just typed that in. Surely, it should be on your screen?
- Yes, but for security…
- Whatever. The number is 4775 xxxx xxxx xxxx
- Am I speaking to Mr Kamps?
- You sure are.
- How can I help you mr Kamps
(beat)
- Actually, just transfer me to extension so-and-so
- Sorry, you cannot speak to sane person.
- Huh?
- We are all over the world. Lots of call centres. You cannot speak to sane person
… the conversation went on for a while, and I never got to speak to the right person. I eventually concluded that she was right, and that you can, indeed, not speak to a sane person at Capital One.
What is, pray tell, in my wallet?